Another quiet week. More people are coming back from vacation, but I only had to teach a few lessons this week, and really enjoyed the free time. I finished my submission for writers’ group early, which was a nice treat; usually I’m up late Friday night to get it done.
Re: computer: We looked at parts to build one, and it made my brain ache, so for peace of mind I went with a laptop. Hello, new Acer. May you prosper.
Fran’s mom is visiting. Met her for the first time yesterday and it was lovely. We don’t really have a common language (even if I spoke more Italian, I wouldn’t understand Sicilian), but I’m picking up bits as fast as I can and making Fran translate the rest. Got to taste proper Italian sausage yesterday (of course her mom brought a lot of food in her luggage ^_^). Did you know they sometimes put vegetables into the sausage casing? I did not, but I support it.
Went to a giant craft store the other day. Bought way too many craft supplies and had a great time.
Cold Comfort Farm was funny but had a lot of flaws: the parody was clunky, and I don’t think the author quite managed what she was going for. But I started watching the movie just now, and it seems to do the job much better. Quite funny; will see if it holds up.
Besides the new section of VOID, I started two new projects: a short story for submission, and another one for Halloween. “But Katherine,” you say, sounding rather exasperated, “every week you tell us about a new project you’ve started. Very rarely do you mention a project that’s finished.” Well, I’ll tell you that that’s an entirely valid point. Wish me luck.
Writing from a Chromebook now. My laptop decided after working for a day that it wasn’t actually fine after its little shower, and now it won’t turn on. Since it was a ten-year-old MacBook Air, and I don’t have a lot of MacBook money, I’m probably going to follow Fran’s advice and build a desktop (make her help me build a desktop) to replace it. I also bought a wireless keyboard to go with my tablet in case I need a portable workstation. At least it’s lighter than a laptop.
This situation has made the week a bit stressful, so I haven’t done much heavy reading despite not having much work to do (clients are still on vacation). I did start rereading The Blue Sword (Robin McKinley), a comfort book from childhood, and am plugging through Cold Comfort Farm. I’ve also gotten a good bit done on VOID, and a little on a short story that might even turn out to be short. I swear I will learn to write short stories someday.
It’s almost August, which I personally consider the beginning of fall. The days are hot, but the light is changing. The nights are getting cool. If I open the windows (and lock the cats up so they won’t climb out on the roof), it feels like great weather for a night walk. Unfortunately, my neighborhood, though fine in daylight, isn’t really an “evening stroll” kind of locale. Instead, we started watching Jungle Cruise, which is reasonably entertaining.
On a different note: I have what I’m pretty sure is ADHD. I’ve never been screened for it, but I have most symptoms on every list I’ve ever seen. I saw this in a Facebook group the other day, and it really knocked me over.
Content credit Reddit user soozdreamz
So I’ve been a compulsive eater all my life, particularly of sweets. I could never stay away from them. If there were no sweets, I’d binge-eat whatever I could get. Most of my most shameful childhood memories revolve around stealing food. At parties, I always haunted the refreshment table. The food was always in the back of my mind: what looked like it tasted best, how soon I could eat it, how much I could take without looking greedy. I could never understand how other people could not eat when good things were on the table. It didn’t matter how full I was, or how ashamed of my appetite and belly; if something good was there to be eaten, I would eat it until I couldn’t eat anymore.
I never understood why I couldn’t control myself the way other people could. It was much worse when I was tired or stressed. On a bad day, I’d go to the shop and systematically collect everything that looked tasty, and then I’d sit down and eat through the entire pile. It was like a job I had to do. It didn’t even taste very good after the first minute, but I kept doing it.
So… this post really explained a lot for me. I’ve had people tell me I was eating because I was bored, eating because I was nervous, eating because I was tired. But I’ve never heard anyone tell me, “You’re eating because you’re low on dopamine. Every time you eat something tasty, that little burst of pleasure gives you a little chemical boost that builds up your initiative until you’re able to handle tasks again.” Again, I’ve never been screened for this, but I’ve been observing my eating habits over the past two days, and it really does seem to work that way. Maybe even my procrastination–the long stretches when I sit watching YouTube or reading fanfic or playing mobile games instead of starting on my projects–is a way of banking dopamine, gearing up for the quick bursts of hyperfocused work time when I’m actually able to get things done.
I don’t know. I’m not a psychiatrist. But it seems like a decent theory. I’ll play with it and let you know.
Katherine Traylor 